How to Save a good feeling for later (Anchoring)

Capybara

Most of us have had that time in our lives that if we could bottle it would get us through those times when we wish the ground would open up and swallow us, those times that we wish didn't exist. What if you could bottle up that awesome feeling and use it in those not so great moments? If at those times when you had to stand up and present to a room of people that really you wish were not there you could take the lid of the awesome bottle and harness those feelings. Well I'm here to tell you that you can, and actually its quite easy!! The NLP and Hypnosis term for this is anchoring. Now obviously if you were sitting in our therapy room your therapist would spend a lot more time explaining how this works, they would take you into a lovely relaxed state of hypnosis and implant the anchor. Unfortunately for you, right now you are not in our therapy room, so I am going to explain how to set your own anchor (of course if you want some help you can give us a shout ;-) 

I talked to our NLP Practitioner Tracey Baum to get some information about Anchors and how they work. She told me "We create anchors by establishing the desired feeling on an unconscious level and then attaching an action for instance pressing a finger an thumb together when that desired feeling is at its peak and 'anchoring' the feeling. Then every time that desired state is required you repeat the feeling"

How to set your own happy/calm/awesome anchor

First get yourself comfy in a quite place where you will not be disturbed for at least 10 minutes (so don't hide in the bathroom at work, or try this while the kids are shouting at each other downstairs)

When you are comfy (sitting up preferably) focus your eyes on a spot just above your eye line, focus on something still maybe a spot on the ceiling. 

Now start taking deep breaths, those breaths that come right down to the bottom of your belly. You will feel yourself starting to relax, and your eyes starting to feel heavy. When your ready close your eyes.

Now take your mind back to a time when you felt good about yourself, when you felt happy and confident and OK. Notice everything about this moment, the colours, the smells, the sounds. 

Make this feeling big, let it fill your whole body.

Stay with the moment.

And now squeeze together your thumb and middle finger on your right hand. This creates your anchor, so all those awesome feelings are anchored in that movement. That's it, you are done!

So now when you have a feeling you don't like - when you have to talk to your boss, the kids headteacher, the person in the shop who overcharged you you can squeeze together your right thumb and middle finger and you will instantly feel awesome!!

Have fun practicing and if you need some help get in touch Tracey and Rebecca are ready and willing to help!

To book a call to talk about how we can help you be even more awesome, or if you are a professional and would like more information about working with me please contact me on 
rebecca@hertfordshiretherapy.org to book a complimentary 15 minute clarity call.

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How To Actually Get Rid of Anxiety

Heart

I have read a good  hundred articles on how to overcome/beat anxiety, about how easy it is if you just get enough sleep, take the right vitamins, breathe like this, eat this etc etc etc but as someone who has suffered crippling anxiety and now supports others in similar situations I have learned that actually a much more powerful thing to do is to accept anxiety. Now for those of you who have a considerable amount of time either fighting anxiety, or working with clients with anxiety this may seem a bit nuts, but please bear with me, I will explain. 

When my anxiety was bad, I would tell myself to push through, I would call myself all sorts of derogatory names and actually be quite mean to myself. The result of this was that my self esteem, self worth and confidence plummeted even further. When I finally admitted to myself that this was at best unhelpful, and at worst detrimental to my mental health, I began looking for alternatives. I thought about how I parent my children, how if they are scared I show them empathy, kindness, talk through their fears with them and help them to embrace their fear with my support, not only did I realise that at times I can be quite a good mum, but I also realised that there was something in this. So I did some more studying (I love a course!) and what became more apparent to me was that I could use this to help myself. 

So my theory is this:
In order to end the crippling state of anxiety you first need to accept it, to embrace it and you can do this by being kind to yourself. By giving yourself a hug (or asking for one from someone else) and thinking through what is lying underneath these feelings. Now to begin my reaction was well I'm really scared, I then moved on to I might get it wrong, they might think I'm not good enough (I'm not sure who they were, a collective they I think) and then I  was getting to the core of my anxiety. I'm not good enough. My fear came from a place of really believing that I wasn't good enough, as a mum, friend, wife, woman I could go on and on. Then I could challenge that. Look for proof either way.
​Now I'm not going to lie, I have had some awesome help along the way from friends, my partner, my mentor but I had to get to that place in order to do the work. I had to stop fighting the anxiety, give myself permission to be vulnerable, tell myself its OK. 

So next time you feel those feelings of anxiety, perhaps the tightening in your chest, the nausea, the quickening of your breath. STOP fighting it, breathe into it and accept that right now I'm scared and that's OK. Its the fear that perpetuates the anxiety. Its the fear of the fear, the fear of the anxiety. Take its power away but accepting it and keep doing this and let me know what happens.


To book a call to talk about your anxiety and how I can help, or if you are a professional and would like more information about working with me please contact me on 
rebecca@hertfordshiretherapy.org to book a complimentary 15 minute clarity call.

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